KEEP WHAT'S ESSENTIAL
When you lose something, you gain something too.
Every time we give something up, every time we let something go, we are met with new possibilities that were completely inaccessible from our previous vantage point. Letting go clears space for something new to root.
Our “yes” means responsibility, while our “no” means freedom.
Our “no” creates margin for possibility.
In his book Essentialism, Greg McKeown makes a case for achieving more by doing less. He is an advocate for focusing one’s attention on more of what matters, arguing that when we try to juggle a list of competing priorities, everything becomes so critical that nothing is truly accomplished.
“Essentialism is not about how to get more things done; it’s about how to get the right things done,” McKeown writes. “Only once you give yourself permission to stop trying to do it all, to stop saying yes to everyone, can you make your highest contribution toward the things that really matter.”
Essentialism is the disciplined pursuit of less.
I used to miss so many deadlines, not because I wasn’t capable of managing my time well, but because I gave every bit of my time away. I was structuring my life around my very best days—the ones where my output would be at an all-time high. I am not someone who has many consecutive really good days. I was willing to do anything to prove that I could work hard. I was putting in maximum effort. That may have worked in the beginning of my career, but now, it’s what’s holding me back from growth.
At some point, jumping back and forth between tasks, constantly context switching, and spreading myself too thin, became a method of avoidance. When the tasks I really should have been focusing all my attention on got scary or overwhelming, I could jump to a task that would feel productive, even if I was only inching toward goals I held for myself. It gave me an excuse to play victim.
I don’t think you can speed up the many years where hard work is the only real resource you have at your disposal, unless you have money or some insane support system to fall back on. But at some point, we realize that in order to make even marginal steps forward, it becomes so important to leverage the time and resources we have in the best possible way we can. It becomes critical to strip away what is no longer useful, iterate on what’s working, and stop being miserable in the process.
“We tend to feel as though it’s our right to have things move at the speed we desire, and the result is that we make ourselves miserable—not just because we spend so much time feeling frustrated, but because chivying the world to move faster is frequently counter productive,” Oliver Burkeman writes in Four Thousand Weeks, his cutting book on time management, “Meaningful productivity often comes not from hurrying things up but from letting them take the time they take.”
At first glance, weeding out what no longer works + being more deliberate with our “yes” may seem like a self-indulgent practice. But what if this is a way to clarity, sanity, and meaningful impact? By letting go of what no longer aligns, we ultimately create space to do more of what matters most.
In 2024, I traveled approximately 8,175 miles on Amtrak. 53 trips between New England, New York, and Pennsylvania. This was the last train out of New York for a while (well, until next month when I visit friends in the city). For now, I’ll be settled back home in Lancaster while we plan a wedding + decide what’s next. Of course, I’m sad to leave a place I love—one that’s shown me what I’m capable of and how strong I can be, but I welcome the peace of home and the gift of celebrating so many changes with family and lifelong friends. When you lose something, you gain something too.
On the work front, Lancaster County Community Foundation published its 2024 Impact Report: Philanthropy is for Everyone. I observed the power of this organization while I was working at The Factory Ministries and leading our team’s ExtraGive efforts in 2018. It was a joy to partner with the team at LCCF years later to share stories of local philanthropists committed to building a stronger future for Lancaster.
I also have a new website in the works. It’s still a work in progress, but then again, most things are. Visit kyliegracestudio.com for writing samples and service breakdowns.
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i love this! there is so much to gain in letting go